Donald Berlin’s wife, Norma, has been a client of Family & Nursing Care for more than five years. Throughout her home care journey, they both have learned a lot about the benefits of home care for older adults. From finding the right caregiver match to honing in on the appropriate services for Norma’s unique needs, Donald has seen the positive difference home care can make firsthand. Today, he would like to share more about their experience and the value of home care.
Donald and Norma Berlin’s Home Care Journey
Nearly six years ago, like many of her older adult peers, Norma Berlin was diagnosed with neurocognitive impairment. Facing this new reality and the changes that were about to take place, their family physician recommended that they consult with a care manager for extra support. Sensing the burden of care that would fall on Donald to care for Norma, the care manager suggested having a caregiver in the home to have an extra set of hands to help manage care tasks.
At first, the Berlins brought on a caregiver for just a few hours a week, but that person wasn’t a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA), which is something they wanted. Eventually they turned to Family & Nursing Care Select for caregiver assistance. Over time, the number of hours of caregiver support increased to meet the family’s needs. At first from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. during the week, then later adding weekend help. Eventually, they arrived at their current schedule, which is 10 hours per day, seven days a week, involving the help of three different caregivers working separate shifts.
While Donald explained that it took some time for both him and Norma to feel comfortable with the idea of having caregiver support, he now says it’s been a wonderful journey, and he would highly recommend home care support to others. For those who are considering it, he offered some advice and tips to keep top of mind.
Home Care Tips
- Don’t feel guilty about bringing on a caregiver. Donald described how he felt a lot of anxiety over this important decision to get caregiver support. Often times, people will question whether they need a caregiver and think they can manage the support for their loved one themselves. That, combined with not knowing what to expect or look for, can result in a lot of guilt about doing something different. But he says people shouldn’t feel ashamed for needing additional help. They should embrace the opportunity for an extra set of hands, which is not only helpful to the person who needs assistance but to their spouse and entire family.
- Having caregiver support can be as much for you as it is for your loved one who needs the help. When discussing their home care journey, one story Donald brought up was how he and Norma used to eat in the dining room of their senior living community every night to help with socialization after her diagnosis. While this was beneficial for the first few years, eventually eating in the dining room caused extra stress for Norma, so they decided she would eat dinner in their apartment with a caregiver, which made her feel more comfortable. Donald felt it was important for his own mental health to continue to go out and do things like eating in the dining room. Even though it was a little awkward at first going there without Norma, he got used to it and this change turned out to be helpful for both of them. He says that having the extra support from a caregiver has been a gift to him. Not only does he have the peace of mind that Norma is in good hands, but he can continue to focus on taking care of himself, including going to the gym, eating healthfully, and getting adequate sleep. In fact, he said maintaining good health is equally important for the family care giver as it is the person who needs the care, so family can be there for their loved one as their health declines and not feel overwhelmed and burned out.
- Caregivers are professionals. More than an aide or caregiver, Donald remarked how he likes to use the term Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) when describing the people who support Norma. He said that referencing the professional license the caregiver holds signifies that they have the proper training, were approved by a responsible body, and they can help you. Above all, it provides a sense of comfort for you and your loved ones. Whether it’s an extra set of hands around the house or companionship, caregivers can help out in many ways, making them invaluable.
- Finding the right caregiver match is critical but it takes time. While Donald said the three caregivers who support Norma now all do a terrific job, it took time to build chemistry, and it’s important to be patient. He said matching the temperament and personality of a caregiver with Norma was more than a skill, and it won’t always be the right fit at first. He explained that over time, caregivers can develop an intimate relationship with the person they are caring for and, often times, they may know how to care for that person better than family members, which should be seen as a significant benefit. In fact, Donald said how he has seen many caregivers develop such close bonds with their clients that they become like family members. At the same time, he also shared how the relationship is a two-way street between the person responsible for arranging the care for their loved one and the caregiver. In this regard, Donald mentioned how when he gives instructions to his wife’s caregivers, they of course will listen to him but, on many occasions, he would ask them if there was a better way to do something. He explained how this kind of feedback not only was beneficial to him and Norma but also the caregiver who would feel validated that their skills and input are valued.
- Home care provides enormous value. Upon reflecting on his and Norma’s experience, Donald emphasized how beneficial having caregiver support has been for them. One example he provided was how they moved into a senior living community just prior to when the COVID-19 pandemic began, which was a scary and challenging time, but he came to realize how well trained their caregivers were. Not only were the caregivers able to support Norma during this time, but they were all equipped with the appropriate personal protective equipment, which was provided to them by Family & Nursing Care Select, and they were always up to date on the latest guidelines and recommendations as the pandemic evolved, which helped put him at ease. Further, Donald explained how he didn’t realize the richness and breadth of the services provided by Family & Nursing Care – when you work with us, you’re getting more than just a caregiver, you’re getting an entire organization with many people working behind the scenes to ensure seamless support.
The final insight Donald shared was that the sooner he was able to accept that there was nothing he could do to improve Norma’s health the better it was for him emotionally. It took him some time to arrive at this conclusion, but he said once he did – combined with having the extra help of a caregiver – it was a tremendous weight off him.
The Family & Nursing Care Difference
Family & Nursing Care is one of the oldest and most well-respected home care resources in the Mid-Atlantic region. Since 1968, we’ve helped tens of thousands of older adults and their families by providing access to a network of more than 1,500 caregivers who can assist with activities of daily living, including bathing, dressing, mobility assistance, errands, meal prep, light housekeeping, medication reminders, companionship, and more. To learn more about how home care can help you live your fullest, independent life at home, call us at 800-588-0517 or visit the Contact page on our website.
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